Friday, December 2, 2011
didn't intend to not blog for six months. not that i didn't have anything to write about. it was more of, well, avoiding it.
my name is blair, and i'm an avoider.
an avoider of the grocery store, confrontations, my ex roommate, politics, and showing emotion. well here is me, confronting an emotion.
in may, i graduated college after 4 incredible years of learning, growing, and maturing. 4 years of becoming independent and developing the best friendships with truly amazing people. i wouldn't trade those years for anything, but in all honesty graduation was the worst day of my life. i've never cried so much in my life, hell i'm tearing up just writing this. i mean i knew my college years were coming to a close, but i was completely blindsided by the devastation i felt.
it has literally taken me more than 6 months to write about this and it's still terribly uncomfortable and makes my heart ache.
well, after graduation i started my new job right away, thank goodness. it gave me zero time to think about what had just happened. perfect for my avoiding personality! i was one of the lucky few who had secured a job in my field before graduation (i'm the assistant interior designer at LeSueur Interiors - check it out!). well i loooooovvveeeeddd everything about it. i still feel so thankful everyday that God led me to what i meant to do and afforded me the opportunities to get there.
so, i worked for three weeks, then went to vegas (happy graduation to me!), then back to work. mid july, work slowed, and that gave me a lot of time to just sit. i'm fairly certain i suffered a spout of post grad depression. i never told anyone, well until now. i felt awful about things off and on until about october, then after endless prayer, it thankfully, slowly evaporated. don't get me wrong, there are still days i'm still a little bummed about things, but who doesn't have those feelings every now and again?
so there, it's out. that's what i've been avoiding and why i haven't been writing. (and i'm sorry for any typos/not making complete since, bc i can't bring myself to read back through it.)
but now that it's out, i feel better. naked and vulnerable, but better.
ps this was probably not the best thing to write while on my period! way too emotional.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
pack up a house you've lived in for two years
try and soak up as much of waco as possible with the roomies you've come to love
start a job the monday after the friday you graduate
reacclimate to living in your hometown that you thought you'd never move back to
so that's how/why i've been gone for quite some time!
i'm going to try to blog with more consistency.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
allow me to explain with a few examples:
preschool: i was proposed to. my best friend and i were on the playground, swinging, and this boy in my class came up to me and just layed it out on the line. i, of course, turned him down. i told him i was too busy. what i had going on i have no idea. what four year old says that?
5th or 6th grade:
a guy called me and asked me to be his homecoming date. i said no. then hung up the phone. again, who does that? AND i don't think i ever apologized.
i saw his name on the caller id one day and answered, "what do you want?" it could have easily been his parents, but apparently, i didn't care. another time, i answered the door, looked at him, then walked away. without saying anything to him. what?
so. i feel like karma has definitely come back around to bite me. not that guys are outright rude to me, like i was to them, but you know what i mean. and not that i at all feel that i need a guy to validate my life, i just think it's a funny circle, and i'd like to do this:
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
ummm what? really? well i thought those days were gone. apparently not.
Monday, April 4, 2011
the first picture - next morning
second - around 3 friday afternoon
third - i don't remember, but you get the point. AWFUL. i've never had my foot bruise like that before - in case you can't see in the pictures, the bruise goes alllll the way around the base of my pinky toe : / so, to get to the title... needless to say, due to this catastrophe, i developed a pimp walk/gangster lean/what have you.
to summarize: i. looked. a. fool. hobbling about.
p.s. - as of today, my toe still has the coloring of that tri-soap that comes out of a car wash, but my walking abilities have returned to normal.