Friday, December 2, 2011
didn't intend to not blog for six months. not that i didn't have anything to write about. it was more of, well, avoiding it.
my name is blair, and i'm an avoider.
an avoider of the grocery store, confrontations, my ex roommate, politics, and showing emotion. well here is me, confronting an emotion.
in may, i graduated college after 4 incredible years of learning, growing, and maturing. 4 years of becoming independent and developing the best friendships with truly amazing people. i wouldn't trade those years for anything, but in all honesty graduation was the worst day of my life. i've never cried so much in my life, hell i'm tearing up just writing this. i mean i knew my college years were coming to a close, but i was completely blindsided by the devastation i felt.
it has literally taken me more than 6 months to write about this and it's still terribly uncomfortable and makes my heart ache.
well, after graduation i started my new job right away, thank goodness. it gave me zero time to think about what had just happened. perfect for my avoiding personality! i was one of the lucky few who had secured a job in my field before graduation (i'm the assistant interior designer at LeSueur Interiors - check it out!). well i loooooovvveeeeddd everything about it. i still feel so thankful everyday that God led me to what i meant to do and afforded me the opportunities to get there.
so, i worked for three weeks, then went to vegas (happy graduation to me!), then back to work. mid july, work slowed, and that gave me a lot of time to just sit. i'm fairly certain i suffered a spout of post grad depression. i never told anyone, well until now. i felt awful about things off and on until about october, then after endless prayer, it thankfully, slowly evaporated. don't get me wrong, there are still days i'm still a little bummed about things, but who doesn't have those feelings every now and again?
so there, it's out. that's what i've been avoiding and why i haven't been writing. (and i'm sorry for any typos/not making complete since, bc i can't bring myself to read back through it.)
but now that it's out, i feel better. naked and vulnerable, but better.
ps this was probably not the best thing to write while on my period! way too emotional.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
pack up a house you've lived in for two years
try and soak up as much of waco as possible with the roomies you've come to love
start a job the monday after the friday you graduate
reacclimate to living in your hometown that you thought you'd never move back to
so that's how/why i've been gone for quite some time!
i'm going to try to blog with more consistency.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
allow me to explain with a few examples:
preschool: i was proposed to. my best friend and i were on the playground, swinging, and this boy in my class came up to me and just layed it out on the line. i, of course, turned him down. i told him i was too busy. what i had going on i have no idea. what four year old says that?
5th or 6th grade:
a guy called me and asked me to be his homecoming date. i said no. then hung up the phone. again, who does that? AND i don't think i ever apologized.
i saw his name on the caller id one day and answered, "what do you want?" it could have easily been his parents, but apparently, i didn't care. another time, i answered the door, looked at him, then walked away. without saying anything to him. what?
so. i feel like karma has definitely come back around to bite me. not that guys are outright rude to me, like i was to them, but you know what i mean. and not that i at all feel that i need a guy to validate my life, i just think it's a funny circle, and i'd like to do this:
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
ummm what? really? well i thought those days were gone. apparently not.
Monday, April 4, 2011
the first picture - next morning
second - around 3 friday afternoon
third - i don't remember, but you get the point. AWFUL. i've never had my foot bruise like that before - in case you can't see in the pictures, the bruise goes alllll the way around the base of my pinky toe : / so, to get to the title... needless to say, due to this catastrophe, i developed a pimp walk/gangster lean/what have you.
to summarize: i. looked. a. fool. hobbling about.
p.s. - as of today, my toe still has the coloring of that tri-soap that comes out of a car wash, but my walking abilities have returned to normal.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
neighbors playing baseball
last minute football food trip to ghetto heb
hopefully glee will redeem the day.
but, even more interesting: my superbowl halftime experience in 2004.
it was my freshman year in high school, the superbowl was in houston, and the dance team and a few other student organizations had the opportunity to participate in half time festivities.
free concert/seeing celebs/important people/chance to be on tv?
well sign. me. up.
our job was to be the "audience/fans" by the stages while the artists performed. contrary to what one might think, a LOT of practice and planning goes into that aspect. yes... there were multiple practices to learn to be an "audience".
One practice was at a stadium in the middle of some super sketch neighborhood. we sat around for a long time, got sunburned, and got yelled at. fun.
Next practice was at reliant stadium. in the parking lot. in the rain. again, we sat around for quite some time and got yelled at with some power hungry mtv employee with a megaphone. then we stood in line for "lunch". which was either a sloppy joe or bar b que sandwich. it's hard to remember, but the styrofoam containers were sitting out in the rain and therefore, the rain infiltrated and ruined any chance of identifying/consuming lunch.
anyway, we got to watch the performers rehearse, so that was cool.
there might have been other practices, but i don't really remember. it must be post traumatic stress.
we had to get there super early and we couldn't carry anything. welllll that's an issue when you're a diabetic. i have to at least have glucose tablets, so i carried a small bag with me.
walking in, an mtv employee stopped me and told me i couldn't have anything on me. i told her i was diabetic and unless she wanted me to potentially pass out, i needed to carry a few supplies. she told me that maybe i shouldn't be there. whatabitch. after stuffing things into everyone's pockets, we joined into the cattle herd being funneled into the stadium.
once inside, i saw a glimpse of jessica simpson, nearly tripped over the cords all over the field, and "enjoyed" p.diddy and nelly. i was on the opposite side of the field (probably being forced off already) of the infamous janet jackson boob flash.
i got a sunburn in february
was told i shouldn't be somewhere bc i was diabetic
was yelled at to "fill in the holes" while in a parking lot in the rain
got herded like cattle
was on the field for the most rewatched moment in TiVo history (wikipedia)
so thank you mtv, for the worst experience possible, and the best story to tell.